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| Here’s the conclusion that I’ve come to after falling in love: Once you’re through with your first love, you tend to realize how the person was the anti-thesis of everything you’ve ever hoped and dreamed for in a singular being. At first glance, you would have never known that Daniel Andrew Barker had a knack for breaking hearts—everything about him seemed so innocent and pure. The air he exuded just gave off a more intellectual, nerdy side, one that couldn’t be more opposite than the actual person he was. His chortle was infectious as hell, and that smile. Well, that crooked grin would be the one engraved into my memory forever. And as much as I want to forget it, even go Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on him, that image will remain in my mind for as long as I live.
The afternoon I met him was a surprisingly warm one—I had been planning to meet up with a few friends in New York City ever since the summer program in England had ended. The roster of people had accumulated at the site of the former World Trade Center. I recall standing there awkwardly in front of the station, rocking my body back and forth nervously as I waited for the rest of the people to show up. My neuroticism prevailed as I silently freaked out, thoughts popping into my head, one after the other, “Will they show up? I hope they do, or else I’m fucking stuck in the city alone until the night time, and then I gotta take the stupid PATH back!” A loud noise emitted from my bag, the sounds of Lil’ Mama’s Lip Gloss were muffled by the mass amounts of objects that were in the abyss that could have been mistaken for a normal bag. As I dug through to find the source of the noise, there was a small tap on my shoulder. “Shit!” my voice shrieked, as I found the face of Amanda staring right at me. I had clutched my chest in an attempt to “save myself” from what I thought was going to become a myocardial infarction. A mysterious figure loomed next to her, floating around uncomfortably. At first, I had thought that this was Amanda’s boyfriend, but the way he was positioned didn’t seem like they were dating. I guess Amanda had caught me staring at him, so she quickly darted her eyes back at the gawky boy behind her. “Come out of hiding already,” Amanda scolded the male behind her, as he obliged to her requests and walked towards me. “I’m Andrew,” he introduced himself to me in his distinct high-pitched, seemingly prepubescent voice. My first reaction was to snicker, mainly because A. I had never met him before, and B. Coming from such a tall, lanky, rather attractive person—it was just unexpected and took me off guard. “Hey… fuck you,” Andrew had responded to my tiny chuckles, with a furrowed brow. Obviously he had gotten this reaction before, because his tone was light-hearted and teasing. “Sorry. It’s just… your voice. Have you gone through puberty yet?” I asked him, my lips upturned into a tiny smirk, trying to be as witty as possible. Amanda rolled her eyes as she stood there impatiently, noticing the fact that Andrew and I had already developed such a rapport in only a few seconds of knowing each other. “Are we done flirting yet?” Amanda asked as she started walking away, peering down at her phone, realizing that we had to go to Central Park to meet our other friends. Andrew had peered up, running his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair, as he parted his lips to reveal that precious smile, flashing it at me before he signaled for us to follow Amanda’s lead. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re coming,” he extended his bony elbow out for me to grab onto, as he laughed heartily, his face seemed to jut out sunshine wherever he went.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know then. But this boy was going to be trouble. Especially with that damn smile of his. | | |
| Member Since: 3/23/2007
almost two years.
woooot.
i neglect you almost as much as andrew neglects me. why why why why why does god make it impossibly difficult for me to get over you?
today marks the anniversary of me falling in love with you.
although i am pretty sure, unofficially i was in love with you back
in december 07.
i sometimes hate you.
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| I. Biodome
I'm retracing my steps;
one capybara, two capybara, three.
why am I counting the amount of fat
water rodents that make their habitat
in the middle of an artificial rainforest?
distracting myself from thinking about you
and our secret trysts in the back of the
children's department at Neiman Marcus,
hands wandering, unidentified limbs attached to
different body parts, lips smashing against each other
like some hormonal teenage atomic love bomb.
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| nice to meet you, i'm your other half.
i love connor torres, that stupid douchebag.
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